Interview with Great Aunty Connie
Constance Bane, born Dovercourt 1912
Connie, as she was known, was the oldest sister of my granny Isabelle Bane, and she talked to me of her memories of the family, notes which I made as she talked. She had some jealousy, I would say, of her little sister, as she talks of her with some negativity, whereas their brother, Dick, had very pleasant things to say of Isabelle. Still, this reflects real family life and the resentments within it, and of course there was much else of great value that she had to say, of her parents and grandparents.
Of grandparents Richard Bane and Hannah Bean:
Richard Bane owned his own home, unlike ordinary people. Their house was named Alma House. Richard made dress uniforms in the army. He was a master tailor. Richard Bane's parents didn't want him to go in the army so he ran away and joined using his wife's name 'Bean'. He had a walking stick from when he was a corporal which had a silver top in the shape of a ladies leg. D'Auvergne's mother, Hannah, who was only a little woman, believed in being with her husband wherever he went. They went to the West Indies and lost their first baby John on the way. Richard was brawny and well built, a lovely man. Hannah was small, like my mum (Florence), just 5 ft. She was always moving house. Once they moved from one side of the road simply to the other. They were in the middle of the road when she started giving birth and Richard had to rush across the road with the chamber pot in his hands. Richard and Hannah, who were D'Auvergne's parents, came to live in Dovercourt at one time, and there lived with D'Auvergne and Mary in Fronks Road in a double fronted house. It was a big house with a big garden. Richard worked for a gentleman's outfitter in Dovercourt. When Hannah and Richard were getting on in age they moved back to London to their daughter Alma's house. Alma had married George Reynolds, an art master at a London college. He was self taught. They used to go to Italy for their holidays and he'd do paintings there. They retired from London and went to Cinderford in Gloucestershire where they had a bungalow. They had two daughters, Alma and Gladys. The daughters both had office jobs when they lived in Walthamstow. One day one was late getting home. She kissed her mother saying 'I'm ever so sorry'. Richard and Hannah ended their days with their daughter Alma. Hannah died first, then Richard, both of old age.
Richard Bane owned his own home, unlike ordinary people. Their house was named Alma House. Richard made dress uniforms in the army. He was a master tailor. Richard Bane's parents didn't want him to go in the army so he ran away and joined using his wife's name 'Bean'. He had a walking stick from when he was a corporal which had a silver top in the shape of a ladies leg. D'Auvergne's mother, Hannah, who was only a little woman, believed in being with her husband wherever he went. They went to the West Indies and lost their first baby John on the way. Richard was brawny and well built, a lovely man. Hannah was small, like my mum (Florence), just 5 ft. She was always moving house. Once they moved from one side of the road simply to the other. They were in the middle of the road when she started giving birth and Richard had to rush across the road with the chamber pot in his hands. Richard and Hannah, who were D'Auvergne's parents, came to live in Dovercourt at one time, and there lived with D'Auvergne and Mary in Fronks Road in a double fronted house. It was a big house with a big garden. Richard worked for a gentleman's outfitter in Dovercourt. When Hannah and Richard were getting on in age they moved back to London to their daughter Alma's house. Alma had married George Reynolds, an art master at a London college. He was self taught. They used to go to Italy for their holidays and he'd do paintings there. They retired from London and went to Cinderford in Gloucestershire where they had a bungalow. They had two daughters, Alma and Gladys. The daughters both had office jobs when they lived in Walthamstow. One day one was late getting home. She kissed her mother saying 'I'm ever so sorry'. Richard and Hannah ended their days with their daughter Alma. Hannah died first, then Richard, both of old age.
Of grandparents Maria and Thomas Seagrove:
Maria Seagrove was little, short and dumpy, nearly as big round as she was tall. She had lovely dark curly hair. Thomas had sandy red hair. Maria was a lovely old dear who made a fuss of the kids. Thomas was away a lot and when he came home from sea he was good to the family and they never went short of anything. They were a rough and ready family, and were hard workers.
Maria Seagrove was little, short and dumpy, nearly as big round as she was tall. She had lovely dark curly hair. Thomas had sandy red hair. Maria was a lovely old dear who made a fuss of the kids. Thomas was away a lot and when he came home from sea he was good to the family and they never went short of anything. They were a rough and ready family, and were hard workers.
Of mother Mary Ann Seagrove:
Mary Ann was the eldest of 12 (there were six brothers between her and her next sister). Her mother (Maria) made her as if a slave to look after the younger children. She only had 'half a schooling' so had poor writing. because in either the morning or the afternoon she would be working. She was not well educated but had a good brain. Mary at the age of 13 and a half didn't like being a 'slave' at home. When 9 she had to stand on a stool washing all her brothers shirts. Before she went to bed at night she had to clean all her brothers shoes. So, at 13 and a half, she decided if she had to work she might as well be paid. She put her hair in a bun and got a job in service in a big terraced house. It was hard work in those days. Unless one's parents were well enough off to apprentice their daughters to a trade they had to go into service (till the war came). It wasn't the done thing for a woman to go out to work either. The only shop a girl worked in was a drapers shop. Men worked in all other shops. Mary had a break from service life during the Boer War in South Africa and she went into a munitions factory making bullets. She had quite a way to walk to work and had to wear boots right up to her knees. 'I've trudged many a mile to work through the snow' she said. She was still single at this time.
Mary Ann was the eldest of 12 (there were six brothers between her and her next sister). Her mother (Maria) made her as if a slave to look after the younger children. She only had 'half a schooling' so had poor writing. because in either the morning or the afternoon she would be working. She was not well educated but had a good brain. Mary at the age of 13 and a half didn't like being a 'slave' at home. When 9 she had to stand on a stool washing all her brothers shirts. Before she went to bed at night she had to clean all her brothers shoes. So, at 13 and a half, she decided if she had to work she might as well be paid. She put her hair in a bun and got a job in service in a big terraced house. It was hard work in those days. Unless one's parents were well enough off to apprentice their daughters to a trade they had to go into service (till the war came). It wasn't the done thing for a woman to go out to work either. The only shop a girl worked in was a drapers shop. Men worked in all other shops. Mary had a break from service life during the Boer War in South Africa and she went into a munitions factory making bullets. She had quite a way to walk to work and had to wear boots right up to her knees. 'I've trudged many a mile to work through the snow' she said. She was still single at this time.
Of father D'Auvergne Bane:
D'Auvergne was a lovely man. He should have gone to Cambridge, but his dad lost a lot of money through people not paying their bills. D'Auvergne was the youngest of nine. His eldest brother, John, was buried at sea on the way to the West Indies. D'Auvergne didn't like his name so he was called Robert or Bob. He wouldn't stick at any job for long. He was 18 when he left school. His first job was as a trainee lawyer. He got fed up with that and worked with his dad in the tailoring trade and was good, but got fed up with sitting still for too long. D'Auvergne would say 'We're all on this earth to help each other and if we can't do that we can't call ourselves Christians' and 'We're none of us perfect. There's good in the worst of us and bad in the best of us'. He would never deliberately do anyone any harm and if he could help anyone he would. He was a well brought up gentleman. He played the piano. He had a beautiful touch. He could have been good if he'd kept it up. He could sing well too.
D'Auvergne was a lovely man. He should have gone to Cambridge, but his dad lost a lot of money through people not paying their bills. D'Auvergne was the youngest of nine. His eldest brother, John, was buried at sea on the way to the West Indies. D'Auvergne didn't like his name so he was called Robert or Bob. He wouldn't stick at any job for long. He was 18 when he left school. His first job was as a trainee lawyer. He got fed up with that and worked with his dad in the tailoring trade and was good, but got fed up with sitting still for too long. D'Auvergne would say 'We're all on this earth to help each other and if we can't do that we can't call ourselves Christians' and 'We're none of us perfect. There's good in the worst of us and bad in the best of us'. He would never deliberately do anyone any harm and if he could help anyone he would. He was a well brought up gentleman. He played the piano. He had a beautiful touch. He could have been good if he'd kept it up. He could sing well too.
Of parents D'Auvergne and Mary Bane's life together:
D'Auvergne met Mary in a hotel where she was cook and he was barman. Mary was potty about D'Auvergne. She said he was a bit of a spendthrift and used to like to go to the races. She used to go with him in a hansom cab. Sometimes they went with hardly any money and D'Auvergne would come back with his pocket full of golden sovereigns. She tried to save some but he couldn't. They were theatre goers, seeing old time music hall actors, like George Robey. If they were flush with money they'd go to a nice restaurant where a full orchestra would play. The band would play requests and D'Auvergne often requested some music. His favourite was Cavalleria Rusticana. Mary Ann and D'Auvergne were already expecting Dick when they married. Mary worked as a cook when she was pregnant with Dick to get money for babies clothes. She had 4 children in all and a bad miscarriage. Up until Dick was a teenager, D'Auvergne made all his suits. He made the Norfolk suit on an old treadle sewing machine. He also made my knickers! D'Auvergne was very easy to feed. Mary said 'He never grumbled, whatever I put in front of him'. Mother took in holiday makers in the summer. She'd let them a room and the sitting room to eat in. They'd buy their own food and she'd cook it for them. That enabled her to save money to put away for the winter rates. They were poor. When the summer was finished the family would have a few days in London. They'd stay in Greenwich with Maria and Thomas (Mary's parents), then go to Walthamstow and visit Aunty Alma. D'Auvergne sang and played the piano, coming out with old comic songs like 'Come Into The Garden Maude' and 'Slap A Dab Dab With The Old Paintbrush'. They enjoyed themselves in their humble fashion. You had to make your own entertainment in those days. When they first came to Dovercourt there wasn't a lot of work about. There were no factories. You could be a seaman or at Parkeston Quay working with the ferry boats. Men used to hang around the quay trying to get given a days work. D'Auvergne had had a soft upbringing but he wasn't a lazy man, so he used to go fishing on the shore and would sell plaice or sole if he was lucky to catch any. He'd get 3 and 6 pence for a fish and think himself lucky. As no one bought eels they practically lived on eels themselves, eels and mashed potatoes. Mary had a temper. She'd row with D'Auvergne but she loved him all the same. She was from a rougher family. D'Auvergne didn't have to serve in the First World War because he had varicose veins, so didn't pass his medical. Instead he worked shovelling coal onto the ships, working for 16 hours a day.
Roland, D'Auvergne's brother, also lived with them, in Beach Road, and Richard and Hannah, D'Auvergnes parents, who came to live in Dovercourt at one time also lived with them. They were already there before D'Auvergne and Mary moved to the seaside. They all got on well with each other. First they were altogether in Fronks Road in a double fronted house. It was a big house with a big garden. When Hannah and Richard moved back to London, D'Auvergne and Mary stayed a while in Fronks Road, but the rates were high, so they moved to Lee Road where I was born. Mary was fond of animals and the family always had a cat, a dog and a bird. She idolised animals and was always bringing cats home. She had canaries and one time a couple of goldfinches. D'Auvergne always wore a flat cap. He caught a wild canary once by putting his cap over it, and as it always reminded her of him, when D'Auvergne died Mary couldn't bare to keep it anymore and she gave it away.
D'Auvergne met Mary in a hotel where she was cook and he was barman. Mary was potty about D'Auvergne. She said he was a bit of a spendthrift and used to like to go to the races. She used to go with him in a hansom cab. Sometimes they went with hardly any money and D'Auvergne would come back with his pocket full of golden sovereigns. She tried to save some but he couldn't. They were theatre goers, seeing old time music hall actors, like George Robey. If they were flush with money they'd go to a nice restaurant where a full orchestra would play. The band would play requests and D'Auvergne often requested some music. His favourite was Cavalleria Rusticana. Mary Ann and D'Auvergne were already expecting Dick when they married. Mary worked as a cook when she was pregnant with Dick to get money for babies clothes. She had 4 children in all and a bad miscarriage. Up until Dick was a teenager, D'Auvergne made all his suits. He made the Norfolk suit on an old treadle sewing machine. He also made my knickers! D'Auvergne was very easy to feed. Mary said 'He never grumbled, whatever I put in front of him'. Mother took in holiday makers in the summer. She'd let them a room and the sitting room to eat in. They'd buy their own food and she'd cook it for them. That enabled her to save money to put away for the winter rates. They were poor. When the summer was finished the family would have a few days in London. They'd stay in Greenwich with Maria and Thomas (Mary's parents), then go to Walthamstow and visit Aunty Alma. D'Auvergne sang and played the piano, coming out with old comic songs like 'Come Into The Garden Maude' and 'Slap A Dab Dab With The Old Paintbrush'. They enjoyed themselves in their humble fashion. You had to make your own entertainment in those days. When they first came to Dovercourt there wasn't a lot of work about. There were no factories. You could be a seaman or at Parkeston Quay working with the ferry boats. Men used to hang around the quay trying to get given a days work. D'Auvergne had had a soft upbringing but he wasn't a lazy man, so he used to go fishing on the shore and would sell plaice or sole if he was lucky to catch any. He'd get 3 and 6 pence for a fish and think himself lucky. As no one bought eels they practically lived on eels themselves, eels and mashed potatoes. Mary had a temper. She'd row with D'Auvergne but she loved him all the same. She was from a rougher family. D'Auvergne didn't have to serve in the First World War because he had varicose veins, so didn't pass his medical. Instead he worked shovelling coal onto the ships, working for 16 hours a day.
Roland, D'Auvergne's brother, also lived with them, in Beach Road, and Richard and Hannah, D'Auvergnes parents, who came to live in Dovercourt at one time also lived with them. They were already there before D'Auvergne and Mary moved to the seaside. They all got on well with each other. First they were altogether in Fronks Road in a double fronted house. It was a big house with a big garden. When Hannah and Richard moved back to London, D'Auvergne and Mary stayed a while in Fronks Road, but the rates were high, so they moved to Lee Road where I was born. Mary was fond of animals and the family always had a cat, a dog and a bird. She idolised animals and was always bringing cats home. She had canaries and one time a couple of goldfinches. D'Auvergne always wore a flat cap. He caught a wild canary once by putting his cap over it, and as it always reminded her of him, when D'Auvergne died Mary couldn't bare to keep it anymore and she gave it away.
Of Connie's brothers and sisters:
Thomas George Edward was the son of Mary who died when he was 4. Isabelle was spoilt. She was a mistake, not intended. Isabelle and Dick were the miserable ones. Isabelle was always whining and was as thin as a knife, saying 'I don't like meat'. She was very thin and very beautiful. Mother was spoiling her, coaxing her to eat. I had to look after her and she was a little horror. She was 5 years younger. Whenever I played with my friends, Isabelle wanted to be the centre. 'I want to be the fairy queen' she would say. When she was 3, in a pram, I let her out, after she was pestering me. She danced down the hill pushing the pram and she couldn't stop running, and the pram tipped up and she ended up in the stinging nettles. She was shrieking. Mother didn't give me a hiding for that, though she would sometimes and had a temper. Dick was the bossy boots. He was a tough lad . He was musical. He played the banjo and the saxophone. Isabelle and I lived together while our husbands were at war. Every 7 months the men would get 3 days leave, but never at the same time. There were only 6 days between the births of Jo your mum, and my Chris.
Thomas George Edward was the son of Mary who died when he was 4. Isabelle was spoilt. She was a mistake, not intended. Isabelle and Dick were the miserable ones. Isabelle was always whining and was as thin as a knife, saying 'I don't like meat'. She was very thin and very beautiful. Mother was spoiling her, coaxing her to eat. I had to look after her and she was a little horror. She was 5 years younger. Whenever I played with my friends, Isabelle wanted to be the centre. 'I want to be the fairy queen' she would say. When she was 3, in a pram, I let her out, after she was pestering me. She danced down the hill pushing the pram and she couldn't stop running, and the pram tipped up and she ended up in the stinging nettles. She was shrieking. Mother didn't give me a hiding for that, though she would sometimes and had a temper. Dick was the bossy boots. He was a tough lad . He was musical. He played the banjo and the saxophone. Isabelle and I lived together while our husbands were at war. Every 7 months the men would get 3 days leave, but never at the same time. There were only 6 days between the births of Jo your mum, and my Chris.
Of Isabelle's husband Lyall Inkster:
Lyall was selfish. You never knew what he was thinking. He was spoilt and never cleaned his own shoes. Kate or his mum would do it. He never lifted a finger to do anything. It wouldn't occur to him to offer to do anything for Isabelle. She never asked him. They were both in love at first. Doris was his first love, before he met Isabelle. Lyall and Isabelle were all over each other at first. Isabelle put Lyall on a pedestal. Jo (my mother) used to get jealous because she wanted a kiss too. Lyall never gave the children any pocket money, so Isabelle gave as much as she could. Lyall never bought them so much as an ice-cream. Lyall and Isabelle were so wrapped up in themselves with no room for the kids. I said to Isabelle 'Don't Lyall give them nothing?' and she said she'd asked him why and he said he never got given anything himself as a child. His was a huge family though. Ernie (Connie's husband) wanted to adopt Jo because she was having so much trouble at home. Jo survived because she had a good brain. Jo loved me like her own mother.
Lyall was selfish. You never knew what he was thinking. He was spoilt and never cleaned his own shoes. Kate or his mum would do it. He never lifted a finger to do anything. It wouldn't occur to him to offer to do anything for Isabelle. She never asked him. They were both in love at first. Doris was his first love, before he met Isabelle. Lyall and Isabelle were all over each other at first. Isabelle put Lyall on a pedestal. Jo (my mother) used to get jealous because she wanted a kiss too. Lyall never gave the children any pocket money, so Isabelle gave as much as she could. Lyall never bought them so much as an ice-cream. Lyall and Isabelle were so wrapped up in themselves with no room for the kids. I said to Isabelle 'Don't Lyall give them nothing?' and she said she'd asked him why and he said he never got given anything himself as a child. His was a huge family though. Ernie (Connie's husband) wanted to adopt Jo because she was having so much trouble at home. Jo survived because she had a good brain. Jo loved me like her own mother.
Of the Scottish Shetland family of Lyall (Isabelle's husband):
Grandmother Inkster had 16 children, not just 13. Sister Kate looked after them all. She was plain looking. They lived on an island (Burra in the Shetland Islands). Lyall's father was a fisherman who was at sea a lot. The crofters women got pregnant when the men came home. They kept a cow, sheep and chickens and dug their own peat. One day Lyall's mother decided her children weren't having that life, so on one day, while her husband was at sea, she moved down to Grangemouth in Stirlingshire, and when grandad Inkster returned he either had to stay or join her! The mother was Helen. Their daughter, Helen, was very nice. Lyall was with customs and got moved to Dovercourt and his mother Helen followed him. They all followed him and Lyall's dad, George, died there. They moved to Edinburgh, but first mother Helen made them promise to bury her with her husband. That left Kate, Tommy and Lawrence. Then Kate got ill and died, from throat cancer, which was a shame, for she was a lovely hard-working person. Lawrence was put in a home when Kate got ill, and Tommy went back to the Shetlands. He went and lived with his sister Helen who was now a widow. Helen and Tommy went on holiday to Canada and she liked it so much she sold up and went out to live there. Hector, Lena's husband (Lena being the daughter of Helen), was a sawdoctor who went smack bang into the back of a lorry that was parked with no lights. Lena didn't know about it till he was buried as she'd gone to England for her kids holidays - they were all in boarding school, and no one could contact her.
Grandmother Inkster had 16 children, not just 13. Sister Kate looked after them all. She was plain looking. They lived on an island (Burra in the Shetland Islands). Lyall's father was a fisherman who was at sea a lot. The crofters women got pregnant when the men came home. They kept a cow, sheep and chickens and dug their own peat. One day Lyall's mother decided her children weren't having that life, so on one day, while her husband was at sea, she moved down to Grangemouth in Stirlingshire, and when grandad Inkster returned he either had to stay or join her! The mother was Helen. Their daughter, Helen, was very nice. Lyall was with customs and got moved to Dovercourt and his mother Helen followed him. They all followed him and Lyall's dad, George, died there. They moved to Edinburgh, but first mother Helen made them promise to bury her with her husband. That left Kate, Tommy and Lawrence. Then Kate got ill and died, from throat cancer, which was a shame, for she was a lovely hard-working person. Lawrence was put in a home when Kate got ill, and Tommy went back to the Shetlands. He went and lived with his sister Helen who was now a widow. Helen and Tommy went on holiday to Canada and she liked it so much she sold up and went out to live there. Hector, Lena's husband (Lena being the daughter of Helen), was a sawdoctor who went smack bang into the back of a lorry that was parked with no lights. Lena didn't know about it till he was buried as she'd gone to England for her kids holidays - they were all in boarding school, and no one could contact her.